The First Step in Manifestation

Welcome back to the Unlimited Manifestation podcast. I am so thrilled that you are here again - it means my work is making a difference in your life and you are now motivated to learn more ways to manifest an amazing life. I am so excited for all the great things that will come to your life. I challenge you to dream bigger. Remember, it is your life, it is your miracle. To listen to this recording, check out my podcast in English or Cantonese.

Are You Reacting or Creating?

I want to start today by asking you this question: Are you reacting to life or are you creating your life deliberately everyday? Before you answer and before you continue reading, I invite you to read this for insight, not just for information, and then write down 3 things you will do to help you create what you want in life. Take actions immediately while you are inspired. If you listen to all the podcasts and learn all the new tools that we share and not take action, then nothing will change in your life. There will be just more information and more confusion. My invitation to you is before you finish this podcast, get clear on the 3 steps you can take to move you closer to your dream.

In this episode, I want to talk about the first step in creating anything you want in your life. If you do nothing else but this one thing, you will still experience a powerful shift.

When my son comes to me and complain about his brother or a certain situation, I would usually suggest him to look at the situation in a different angle or change his focus on the situation. Einstein once said "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Right?

Victim Consciousness

However, sometimes my son would immediately say “I can’t, because…" I can’t change this… I can’t do that…and he gives me a lot of reasons why he can’t and he argues very hard for his stuck situation. I see that in a lot of my clients too. They would tell me that their situation is different… maybe they have an abusive father, sister, husband, or boss, they have stressful work… or if only I have richer or better parents things would be different, if my husband did not fail in his business, if my wife takes care of the family better… and so on. We call this the victim consciousness.

You see, our language reveals what is in our subconscious mind. When we are saying I can’t, our mind is blocked from the solution that can solve our problem and sometimes it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I invite you to pause consciously when you or someone else you know says “I can’t”. Pause and think about what thoughts you are thinking when you say the word “I can’t,” what beliefs do you have about the things you can’t do or change? E.g. When you say "I want to join this program that is good for me but I can’t afford it." Or you may say “I am stuck in life but I can’t change”.

“I can’t” is an expression of victim consciousness. When you use this expression, you are telling your mind to stop looking for solutions and you are giving your power away to something outside of you. When we are in victim consciousness, we are literally giving all our energies and powers away to the people or the situation that we believe is making us stuck in the first place.

Step 1: Move to Creator Consciousness

So, the very first step in creating anything you want in your life is to move from the victim consciousness to the creator consciousness.

You are a spiritual being living in a physical body. You have unlimited power and potential in you. In order to use this power to create something you really want, it requires you to take full responsibility of your life.

A lot of people are having the victim consciousness without realizing it, and therefore they are losing the power to change. Here are some ways you can tell if you have a victim consciousness.

1. You complain a lot, blaming other people or situations for how you think, feel and act. You may find yourself saying: She makes me feel bad. He did this to me. They don’t like me.

2. There seems to be a powerful force over you that prevents you from changing. That is when you find yourself saying I can’t change because… whatever reason you give it.

3. You have a habitual thought process that spins into self pity and feeling sorry for yourself. Things you would think or say are: Life is always hard. They are always yelling at me.

4. You are always the victim of your story. For every victim in the story, there is always a bad guy or villain. “They did something to me” is usually how you interpret most people they are in relationship with. Once you identify yourself as a victim, there must be a villain who made you think, feel and act in a certain way. The problem with that is you are now giving all your powers to the villain. You are creating feelings of helplessness, disempowerment, anger and fear within yourself.

5. You feel defensive when someone says something about you. Perhaps someone may comment red suits you better than blue. And you immediately feel defensive.

6. You want to hide. You don’t want to put yourself out there because someone may hurt you.

When you allow an outside event or people to control what you can do, you are giving all your powers to them and you are solidifying your current reality of being stuck. I found that most people argue so hard for their limitations, but not for their potentials and possibilities. When we are looking at other people and giving them all the power for how we feel, that is victim consciousness. Think about that for a minute, is there someone in your life that you think is the cause of your pain? Notice what you are thinking when I ask that question.

Perhaps you are in a party and no one says hello to you or offers you a drink, and you start thinking “that’s rude, why would they do that to me?” Perhaps the host is just too busy with too many people, however, you can’t help but to make it all about you. You start thinking to yourself that because you are not as pretty or as attractive, they didn’t talk to you. You start to compare your weakness with another person’s strength and decided that no one likes you or respects you. You started getting really upset at the host for not saying hello or introducing you to others.

But the reason why someone didn’t offer you a drink may have nothing to do with you at all, there may not be enough people helping to distribute drinks for everyone, the host maybe too busy with too many people and didn’t pay attention to the details of serving everyone.

Victim Mindset

Now let me tell you, most people have this victim mindset from many years ago, when they were a child, something traumatic may have happened and they have adopted the victim mindset from then even though the event is long gone. People who have this mentality are past-focused, they are always looking into the past to find evidence for why they are feeling a certain way. The person and the event may be gone, but they are still blaming the person or event for how they feel now.

Sometimes it is so hard to see that our subconscious programming is building all of these limitations that block our view from the possibility of life. Sadhguru once said that "Suffering is not inevitable, suffering is self created." Physical pain is necessary for survival, but suffering is self created and unnecessary. What kind of suffering you go through is not relevant to what is happening in your body or the world around you. It is relevant to your interpretation of things around you. Your reaction is entirely yours.

How do we know that? Because we can observe that for the same situation, one set of people will be suffering and another set of people will be enjoying the same thing, simply due to the way they react to it. For example, if it rains today, some people will feel very upset or depressed because they can’t go outside or that the weather simply makes them sad, but others totally love the rain. I am one of those people who enjoys watching the rain dropping and feeling the peace it creates. You suffer because of the kind of thoughts and emotions you generate. What kind of thought and emotions you generate is 100% your choice.

The fact is, you can never create or manifest a life you want if you are a victim. If you rely on others to keep you happy and to give you the life you want, then you are a victim and you have no power to create. The first step in creating anything in life is to take the role of the creator. Realizing you are the creator of your own life and you have unlimited potential and unlimited power in you.

Setbacks and hurt are a part of life. How you respond to these setbacks determine how your life will be. You cannot control circumstances but you can control how you respond to them.

How can you change your victim mindset? Realize that the brain will pick doing something comfortable over doing something good for yourself. Change that around and set little goals for yourself.

If you want to manifest anything in your life, the first thing you need to get rid of is the victim mindset. Because this is where you are giving so much power away and not using it to create what you want. Imagine how powerful you will be if you can claim your life back by taking responsibility for everything that happens in your life?

How to Move from the Victim Mindset to the Creator Mindset

Here are what you can do to move yourself from the victim mindset to the creator mindset:

1. Know that you have unlimited potential and power in you. Feeling like a victim is not a weakness, it is a just belief pattern that we have built in our brain and we can change it consciously, it does not mean that we are not a strong, intelligent, or capable person.

2. Take full responsibility of your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions. Responsibility permits you to walk into freedom. When a person refuses to accept responsibility of their life, they give all their power to other people, situations, or circumstances. They are no longer in control of their future. You may not be able to control other people or the circumstances in life, but you have total control of how you react.

3. Stop blaming others as the cause of the results you get. Val Van De Wall once said, “Blaming others causes a person to remain bound in a prison of their own making. When you take responsibility, blame is eliminated, and you are free to grow.”

4. Instead of asking “why does this happen to me?” Ask “why does this happen for me?” Know that everything happens for a reason, life happens for you not to you. Everything that happens in your life has a purpose, which is to awaken you to some truth.

5. Turn your attention to giving to others, give gratitude to the things that are working well in your life.

6. Allow others to say what they want to say without feeling offended or angry. It doesn’t mean that you don’t say something back, it just means that you don’t say something back out of negative emotions based on what they’ve said. You can always say that is an interesting opinion and move on to the next topic.

7. Flip it around. Life is a mirror, it is always reflecting back the lesson you need to learn back to you. For example, when someone is yelling at you, reflect whether you have yelled at others in the past.

8. Journaling your feelings and burning the paper is a great way to relieve the negative emotions you feel around certain people and events.

9. Practice self love and self care, and set boundaries. Say no to things you don’t want to do. Be compassionate with yourself.

Finally I want to say that for anything to change in your life, you have to change. No one can force a change in you or do it for you, you have to do it. I have seen it countless times, when a friend or a client told me they are not able to change because of a certain person or event, but when the event or the person disappears, they are still stuck or even worse because now they have something else to blame.

You have to change first before your environment changes. You have to be happy first before the situation you want shows up in your life. I know sometimes it is not easy to do and it is hard to see the light in the darkest time of your life, but I guarantee you there is light at the end of the tunnel and the sun will come. Don’t be afraid. During my most difficult days, when I tried to get out of my depression and I kept falling again and again, I heard a voice in my mind that kept telling me: It is not going to be easy, but it is going to be worth it.

You have so much power in you, claim it back. It is your life, it is your miracle.

Love you all, and talk to you next time.